The title says it all: I think I own the slowest clocks in existence. It can't possibly only be Thursday of this week. Someone in an otherworldly position of power is punishing me.
Or maybe it's just that phenomenon that happens when you want something so badly time just seems to stand still...Maybe I've just been too busy to notice that time is passing - just not as quickly as I'd like it.
So many things have happened since my last post.
1. My longtime best friend Claire got engaged, which caused an array of emotions, mainly a twinge of jealousy on my part...The source of this jealousy? Me wishing time would speed up until it's my turn. But I am insanely happy for her and can't wait to do all the wedding stuff with her (if she'll have me tag along that is :p ) I know she will be a beautiful bride and everything will work out perfectly. Hopefully, I won't be "Aunt Erin" for a looooong time.
2. Job interviews- what a frustrating experience that has been. While my other graduating counterparts submit resumes and smiles at their leisure, I've been reduced to chasing down references, begging for 5 minutes of their time to fill out countless character references, emailing links, praying for call backs, or some sign of life from some school district that doesn't issue bullet proof vests along with their contracts, and spending the larger chucks of sacred Saturdays filling out 15 page applications that ask me everything from my GPA, what I like to do in my spare time (is that even real? I want to tell them that what I do in my spare time is swim around in margarita bowls, trying to find solace, praying my kids will get nightly visits from a grammar fairy who softly whispers the difference between nouns and verbs in their ears whilst they slumber), to what I plan to do to foster diversity in my classroom (tacos for lunch?). My favorite interview question so far: "What would you do to calm an angry parent?" Pass them my bottle of Xanax and tell them it will all be okay.. Then join me in my margarita bowl swimming.
3. Deadlines - I firmly believe that when they aren't at home hanging upside down in their closets with their wings over their faces, our professors are plotting of last minute, not-real-world assignments for us to complete to see if we can "hang". Granted, some of them are legitimate (i.e. my 10 lesson plan/execution of said 10 day plan) but there are others that are questionable. Like the "electronic portfolio" that I'm only halfway done with that's already 135 pages, that a principal told me he had no time to look at and no interest in seeing. That's motivational. On top of strange Medieval literature readings I have weekly, I'm in the process of studying orthodoxy and heterodoxy in Le Morte D'Arthur. If you have anything to contribute to this fun little paper, I'm all ears. This is the only area in which my broken clocks seem to wake themselves and tick like time bombs.
4. Graduation is looming. May 14th. 30 days and I'm free. Sort of. My parents are coming to Oxford, the place they've not only been hemorrhaging money to for several years, but also the place they've been bred to hate. The coonass in them both bleeds purple and gold. They don't speak Hotty Toddy; they don't sing From Dixie with Love; they don't subscribe to the believe that Oxford is the center of the universe. I've learned to forgive them. It's an Ole Miss thing and they just haven't been fortunate enough to attend this fine, upstanding party school. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.
5. The day after graduation plans? Drive to New Orleans (a 6 hour hop, skip and jump down I-55) and get on board the Norwegian Spirit for 7 days of pure, unadulterated, unschool/work related bliss. Three countries in 7 days (Mexico, Belize, Honduras). Eat your heart out, School of Education, I'll be getting my culture elsewhere, complete with a little umbrella and a disposition sunnier than this world will ever know until our Sun explodes. For those worried about me traveling to foreign lands in the midst of a drug cartel "crisis", I say to you: If the Lord wants be to die at the hand of a Mexican drug Lord, then that is my destiny and shall accept my fate with tequila in hand.
Then.... after all of that....
My clock will probably speed up to somewhere reminiscent of warp speed and won't ever slow down.. for the rest of my life.
Then I'll be begging for 10 day lesson plans and electronic portfolios and fruity drinks bedecked with umbrellas and anything else that will fit into a 16 oz cup. Maybe I'll beg for nap time. I'll beg for a job that doesn't feel like I'm trying to herd cats. Maybe I'll just beg for 5 o'clock.
Only TIME will tell
Cheers,
Erin
